 |
|||||||
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
Rogers Joke of the Month |
|||
| March : Three times a Week... A 75 year old woman went to the doctor for a checkup. The doctor told her she needed more activity and recommended sex three times a week. She said to the doctor: "Please, tell my husband." The doctor goes out in the waiting room and tells the husband that his wife needs to have sex three times a week. The 80 year old husband replies: "Which days?" The doctor says, "How about Monday, Wednesday and Friday." The husband says, "I can bring her Monday and Wednesday, but on Fridays she'll have to take the bus." |
|||
| February : An Irish Offensive... Saddam Hussein was sitting in his office wondering who to invade next when his telephone rang. "Hallo! Mr. Hussein," a heavily accented voice said."This is Paddy down in County ..... Ireland. I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring war on you!""Well, Paddy," Saddam replied, "This is indeed important news! Tell me, how big is your army?""At this moment in time," said Paddy after a moment's calculation, "there is myself, my cousin Sean, my next door neighbor Gerry, and the entire dominoes team from the pub -- that makes 8!" Saddam sighed. "I must tell you Paddy that I have 1 million men in my army waiting to move on my command." "Begorra!", said Paddy, "I'll have to ring you back!" Sure enough, the next day Paddy rang back. "Right Mr. Hussein, the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some equipment!""And what equipment would that be, Paddy?" Saddam asked. "Well, we have 2 combine harvesters, a bulldozer and Murphy's tractor from the farm and Walter has a fleet of kayaks." Once more Saddam sighed. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 16 thousand tanks, 14 thousand armored personnel carriers, and my army has increased to 1 and a half million since we last spoke.""Really?!" said Paddy "I'll have to ring you back!" Sure enough, Paddy rang again the next day. "Right Mr. Hussein, the war is still on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne! We've modified Ted's ultra-light with a couple of rifles in the cockpit and the bridge team has joined us as well!" Saddam was silent for a minute, then sighed. "I must tell you Paddy that I have 10 thousand bombers, 20 thousand MiG 19 attack planes, my military complex is surrounded by laser-guided surface-to-air missile sites, and since we last spoke, my army has increased to 2 million.""Faith and egorra!", said Paddy, "I'll have to ring you back."Sure enough, Paddy called again the next day. "Right Mr. Hussein, I am sorry to tell you that we have had to call off the war.""I'm sorry to hear that" said Saddam. "Why the sudden change of heart?""Well," said Paddy "We've all had a chat, and there's no way we can feed 2,000.000 million prisoners." |
|||
| January : The Perfect Husband... "Hello?" "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?" "Yes." "Great! I am at the mall two blocks from where you are. I just saw a beautiful mink coat. It's absolutely gorgeous!! Can I buy it?" "What's the price?" "Only $1,500.00." "Well, OK, go ahead and get it, if you like it that much..." "Ahhh, and I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the 2001 models. I saw one I really liked. I spoke with the salesman, and he gave me a really good price... and since we need to exchange the BMW that we bought last year..." "What price did he quote you?" "Only $60,000..." "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options." "Great! But before we hang up, something else..." "What?" "It might look like a lot, but I was reconciling your bank account and... I stopped by the real estate agent this morning and saw the house we had looked at last year. It's on sale!! Remember? The one with a pool, English Garden, acre of park area, beachfront property..." "How much are they asking?" "Only $450,000 - a magnificent price... and I see that we have that much in the bank to cover..." "Well, then go ahead and buy it, but just bid $420,000. OK?" "OK, sweetie...Thanks! I'll see you later!! I love you!!!" "Bye...I do too..." The man hangs up, closes the phone's flap, and raises his hand while holding the phone and asks to all those present: "Does anyone know who this cell phone belongs to?" |
|||
Click Here to Submit your own! |
|||
